In Praise of Doubting Thomas

In The Case for God, Karen Armstrong quotes a story from Elie Wiesel, Holocaust survivor and Nobel Prize winner. It’s a story I’ve heard in several other contexts, as it illustrates a beautiful approach to religious faith in the face of tragedy.

“Even in the camps, some of the inmates continued to study the Torah and to observe the festivals, not in the hope of placating an angry deity, but because they found, by experience, that these rituals helped them to endure the horror. One day a group of Jews decided to put God on trial. In the face of such inconceivable suffering, they found the conventional arguments utterly unconvincing. If God was omnipotent, he could have prevented the Shoah; if he could not stop it, he was impotent; and if he could have stopped it but chose not to, he was a monster. They condemned God to death. The presiding rabbi pronounced the verdict, then went on calmly to announce that it was time for the evening prayer.” pp. 277-278

What I find heartbreakingly beautiful about this story is that sufferers had the audacity to throw their anger and suffering in God’s face, but also recognized that they couldn’t walk away from God that easily.

This reminds me of one of my favorite stories from the New Testament. It’s recorded in John 11:1-16. I will paraphrase.

Jesus’ friend, Lazarus, fell ill. When Jesus heard of it, he waited for a couple of days, and then announced his intention of returning to Judea, where Lazarus lay. The disciples pointed out that this might not be the best idea, as Jesus had narrowly escaped a stoning at the hands of the Judeans. Jesus and his disciples have a brief conversation, where Jesus cryptically speaks of death, resurrection, and faith. Then, Thomas gets the final word. Yes, that Thomas. The only disciple to have his own personalized adjective permanently affixed to him; “Doubting”. Here’s what good old Doubting Thomas says. “Let us also go, that we may die with him.”

What I hear Thomas saying, and what I hear the victims of the Holocaust saying in Wiesel’s story, is “I don’t understand this. I don’t understand what God is doing. I think it’s a terrible idea, in fact, if this is truly God’s plan. I think it’s a terrible idea, and I’m not afraid to engage God in a conversation about what a terrible idea this is. However, when it all comes down to it, I’m going to continue to follow Him. I’m going to keep following because I know that, despite my questions and confusion, despite my disagreements and anger, this is the only path toward peace for me.”

To say, “Let’s follow him so we can die alongside him”, acknowledges confusion and questions, and also an incredible depth of faith. It’s hardly fair that Thomas has been so freely labeled as The Doubter.

I can’t follow like Peter or John. I can’t. I can’t be the disciple who enters an empty tomb to look for God, or who steps out of a boat to follow God across the water. I just hope I can follow like Thomas, who Jesus pitied. I hope I can follow like Thomas, who had the strength to admit his questions, and the faith that God would accept his questions and even his anger.